Friday, January 28, 2011

Waiting At The Crossroads

"If I could, through myself, set your spirit free
I'd lead your heart away, see you break, break away
Into the light and to the day..." 
                                                     ~ U2


With the weekend fast approaching, I thought I'd publish next weeks blog a little early...although it is with a touch of sadness.
This will be my last for a while due to the fact that I've reached the crossroads on my journey to find a home, and unfortunately I cannot move forward until certain answers have been provided, to enable me to determine my future decisions.

My whole spiritual journey to find a home has stalled whilst awaiting the outcome of events which will shape the rest of my life.

Will my health be restored fully once I receive the appropriate examinations?
Or will any potential discoveries cause me to re-think my options?

Will my old bank finally accept responsibility for their actions?
And will they reach an acceptable agreement with me so that my financial situation will be sorted once and for all?
Or will they rule against me leaving me with no alternative other than attempting to find another solution through a debt relief agency for example?

Will romance blossom as I sincerely hope it will, and this will surely enable me to finally find a true 'home'?
This will almost certainly result in moving to another location, but that's not a problem if it brings true happiness for all concerned.

If the romance doesn't work out, then will this mean I chance my arm for a third time in New Zealand?
And if so, will this be a brief encounter or a more permanent adventure?

All of these questions will hopefully get answered imminently...but I won't be holding my breath!
Once I receive this knowledge I hope to be able to move on with my journey one way or another, and I shall be resuming my blog to keep you all informed.
In the meantime I'll remain non-judgemental and not take anything (or anyone) for granted, and just hope that 'Lady Luck' smiles on me in the not-too-distant future.

It seems extremely appropriate to conclude where I started with a reference from 'The Shawshank Redemption', in a similar vein to the ending of the film...

I feel like a free man at the start of a long journey, who's conclusion is uncertain.

I hope to find the beauty of New Zealand remains untouched, as I remember it.
I hope to find true happiness, and with it find love.

I hope to receive good health before new wealth, and remain rich in love.


I hope...

Nomadic Steve

Footnote: If anyone is interested, I've adapted all my blogs into a 'word' document which I've also edited into chronological order, so that it reads like a book. So if you've missed any and fancy a catch-up, just leave me your e-mail address & I can pass it on.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Taking A Moral Stance

"Money, we make it
'Fore we see it, you take it..." ~ Marvin Gaye

My spiritual journey to find a home has been hindered somewhat by the ongoing complaint that I registered with my old bank back in April 2009...yes, nearly two years ago and I'm still waiting for a resolution!
Part of the reason why I've kept moving during the past few years, is that due to my dispute with the bank my assets are frozen and therefore so is my credit (or lack of), meaning that I can no longer lease properties in my own name. So with thanks to some great friends and a few private landlords, I am in the position where I must house or flat share, until the matter is finally resolved...quite when that will be is anybody's guess. I decided that after the appalling service that I have received, I should take a moral stance and say that enough is enough - get these issues sorted, and then I'll think of reactivating my accounts.
In order for the full scale of my complaint to be understood, I have edited some of the 100 plus pages of correspondence so far produced to create a concise overview of what I'm up against...

I raised ten areas of concern in my initial letter of complaint to the Financial Ombudsman Service on 5th June 2009, yet there remains outstanding issues in all of these areas as detailed below, which Abbey have failed to address.
 
1. The initial lost cheque from HM Revenue & Customs.
Annette Johnson (Senior Customer Resolution Manager) acknowledged her colleague's failure to initially investigate the lost cheque in her response letter dated 29th May 2009, but then continues to state two cases of totally inaccurate information. She claims Abbey's telephone records show that I called them on the 26th March 2009, and that I was in the process of chasing up the Tax Office in relation to the lost cheque.
Both of these statements are untrue.
I had notified both the HM Revenue & Customs and Abbey in my letter dated 10th March 2009, which was posted from Queenstown, New Zealand, and until I visited my local Abbey branch in Reading on my return to the UK on 30th March 2009, this was the only communication I had been involved with regarding the lost cheque.
 
2. Failure to action direct debit instructions despite sufficient funds being available.
I have confirmed my intentions in my e-mail and letter to the Financial Ombudsman Service dated 8th October 2009 to make the neccesary required payments and maintain all of my financial commitments, but due to the incompetence shown by Abbey they were responsible for these insufficient funds being available. To date, I have failed to receive a satisfactory explaination as to why the initial direct debit instruction due on 5th March 2009 did not take place.
 
3. Discrepancies in the direct debit instructions and communication received.
In my letter dated 23rd April 2009 I asked a specific question concerning a discrepancy in what Abbey stated was due to be debited compared to what they actually deducted, and to date I haven't even received an acknowledgement of this issue, yet alone an explaination.
 
4. Frozen accounts whilst abroad despite prior notification.
Abbey have apologised for the inconvenience caused in relation to my cards being declined whilst abroad in New Zealand, but state that they had no prior notification of my travel plans. As stated in my letter dated 6th April 2009 Abbey attempted to sell me a 0% credit card specifically for my trip when I did notify them of my intended plans, and the Reading (Broad Street) branch must surely have a record of this as I was led to an upstairs private office to go through the application process for this additional card, which was ultimately declined.
 
5. Loss of access to my account for no apparant reason.
I informed Abbey in my letter dated 23rd April 2009 that I was still awaiting a replacement card for my main bank account, but to date this point has never been acknowledged or dealt with, and a replacement account card has never materialised.
 
6. No acknowledgement of how my credit is 'created'.
I notified Abbey and all of the other related parties in my letters dated 6th April 2009, 23rd April 2009, 30th April 2009, 12th May 2009, and 26th May 2009, that I had done some research into the way credit and loans are 'created' by the banks, and I challenged the authenticity of the whole process. In all of Abbey's, MBNA's, and Barclaycard's responses to date, this issue has never been acknowledged or answered.
 
7. Removal of overdraft facility without sufficient notice.
I queried in my letter dated 23rd April 2009 why I wasn't notified earlier about the expiry on my overdraft facility, and as yet Abbey have failed to respond or even acknowledge this question.
 
8. Post still being sent to an old address despite previous notification.
I brought to Abbey's attention in my letter dated 23rd April 2009 that I received a statement for a loan request which was originally sent to my old address. During December 2008 I visited the Abbey High Street branch in Cheltenham, and supplied them with all of the relevant details and account information for my impending move to Berkshire. The only reason I received this loan statement was due to the goodwill of Royal Mail, as the redirection instruction I had arranged had actually expired. Once again to date Abbey have failed to acknowledge this issue or provide an explaination.
 
9. Continual harassment with daily phone calls.
I stressed from the outset that I only wanted to receive communication in writing, and repeated this request in all of my letters to all of the respective parties. Why hasn't this request ever been respected?
 
10. Inconsistencies with stated deadlines to deal with my complaint.
Both MBNA and Barclaycard have sent out confusing and contradicting letters with regards to my complaint. They have both sent out letters stating that my complaint was under investigation with appropriate deadlines, only to send out additional letters prior to these deadlines claiming outstanding payments or threatening potential legal action. All of my queries to date have failed to gain acknowledgement or a response, and I am still receiving contradictory letters with regards to this issue.
 
 
In conclusion I would like to offer a further example of the incompetence, inconsistency, and maladministration shown by Abbey.
To understand this please note that all of my letters were originally sent to Abbey in Prescot Street, London without exception.
(This is the address shown on the bank statements for written communication.)
Yet I've still received numerous responses to these letters from Abbey Complaints in Milton Keynes. Therefore it is safe to presume that my letters were successfully passed onto them.
However, Annette Johnson's letter dated 29th May 2009 states:-
"...unfortunantely I do not have copies of the three letters you mention, nor am I able to retrieve them, as I am only able to access correspondence sent directly to this department..."
Seeing as Annette Johnson is based in Milton Keynes and she is answering my letter which was origianlly sent to London, I find this statement confusing and contradictory to say the least.
To say I am disappointed and disillusioned is a gross understatement.
 
So there you have it - I started out with a complaint to Abbey and it's taken so long they are now called Santander! Due to my state of 'limbo' my journey has reached a stage where until I receive some answers I'm unable to determine any decisions regarding my future.
Therefore my journey has now reached the crossroads...
 
Nomadic Steve
 

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

New Hopes & Dreams

"It is not the mountains that we conquer, but ourselves..." ~ Sir Edmund Hillary

This weeks blog is a little different, as the main content has been adapted and taken from the author's note from Paulo Coelhos' 'The Alchemist'.

I was feeling particularly disheartened recently due to four specific reasons:
1. Missing my intended trip to Ireland to catch up with my friends was hard to take.
2. The frustration at the lack of a full diagnosis of my poor health.
3. The ongoing and stressful situation with my dispute with my ex-bank (more to follow next week).
4. My continual journey to find my spiritual home had come to a fork in the road, and I was unsure which path to take in my persuit for genuine happiness.

Reading the thoughts in the author's notes offered me renewed optimism, and a sense of hope and inspiration, which I felt should be shared with everyone...

The success of 'The Alchemist' has led to many journalists asking Paulo Coelho what's the secret behind the story. His only response has always been that he honestly doesn't know, other than like Santiago the shepherd boy, we all need to be aware of our personal calling.
A personal calling is the path chosen for us here on Earth. Whenever we do something that fills us with enthusiasm, we are following our legend. However, we don't all have the courage to confront our own dreams and hopes.
This is due to four obstacles that confront us, which we ourselves sometimes put in our own way.

First, we are told from a young age that everything we want to do is impossible. We grow up with this idea, and as the years accumulate, so too do the layers of prejudice, fear and guilt. There comes a time when our personal calling is so deeply buried in our soul as to be invisible...but it's still there.

The second obstacle is love.
We know what we want to do, but are sometimes afraid of hurting those around us by abandoning everything in order to persue our dream. We do not realise that love is just a further impetus, not something that will prevent us going forward, and that those who genuinely wish us well want us to be happy and are prepared to accompany us on that journey.

Fear of defeat is the third obstacle which we can meet on our path.
We who fight for our dream suffer far more when it doesn't work out, because we have staked everything on it and that the path of the personal calling is no easier than any other path, except that our whole heart is in this journey. Then we warriors of light must be prepared to have patience in difficult times and to know that the Universe is conspiring in our favour, even though we may not understand how.
Whether we like it or not, defeats happen and setbacks are a part of life. The secret of life, though, is to fall seven times and to get up eight times.
Once we overcome our defeats we are filled with a greater sense of euphoria and confidence. In the silence of our hearts, we know that we are proving ourselves worthy of the miracle of life, and we can start to live with enthusiasm and pleasure.

The final obstacle is the fear of actually realising our dream for which we have been fighting all our lives.
Oscar Wilde said, "Each man kills the thing he loves."
The possibility of getting what we want can fill the soul with guilt. We look around at all those who have failed to get what they want and feel that we do not deserve to get what we want either. We forget about all of the obstacles we overcame, all the suffering we endured, all the things we had to sacrifice in order to get this far.
But if you believe yourself worthy of the thing you fought so hard to get, then you understand why you had to persevere so much, and you appreciate why you are so deserving of attaining it.


After reading this once again I realised that all experiences in life teach us something.
I firmly believe that we all get what we deserve...eventually.
I also believe that good things happen to good people.
And finally, I believe in karma and what goes around, comes around.
Nomadic Steve

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

A State Of Mind Is A Contagious Thing

"it's always a struggle to let somebody go,
it's a natural desire to own your lover, I know,
and you can screw a man down until he takes to drinking,
he'll give you all of his money, you still won't know what he's thinking.

Take me to the fantastic place, keep the rest of my life away
Take me to the island..."  ~  Steve (h) Hogarth #1

The above words perfectly describes my life so far, as it sums up my previous inclination to find it difficult to let go and then move on, followed by a downward spiral to the bottom of a bottle of Jack Daniels.
I have also been guilty of maybe being too generous to others with my money in the past, which has some bearing on my current financial predicament.
The 'fantastic place' and 'island' references are of course New Zealand, as I've always seen this as my immediate escape route to my troubles and to distance myself from all of the other issues in my life.

But I don't think being generous with money and helping out those in greater need should be looked upon as a weakness - no matter what my future holds, I know I've helped out quite a few people over the years to turn their lives around, even if sometimes it's been to my own personal disadvantage.
Very recently I gave what I could to someone in special need, and I know that this was greatly appreciated and the feeling of being able to give far outweighs the joy of receiving. In return I was lucky to be the recipent of a sweet smile and a huge hug...now that's priceless!

"a state of mind is a contagious thing,
spread it around - you never know what the future brings..."  ~  Steve (h) Hogarth #2

Despite all the setbacks, trials and tribulations, it is important to retain a positive state of mind.
Wallowing in self-pity isn't particularly pleasant for anyone, and feeling sorry for yourself doesn't endear yourself to your friends or loved ones.
So the realisation has to be that setbacks are a part of life, and to put it all down to experience.
Keep your chin up and get on with life.
If you can retain your positive spirit in these trying times and keep a smile on your face, then you can spread this good feeling around...after all laughing is a contagious quality too.

Taking this positive attitude into consideration means that I won't let my current illness deter me from my mission to find my spiritual home.
I have recently started taking my third different type of medication for the potential Barratts Oesophagus condition that I've contracted, and this has brought on a third different form of side effects.
However, I am determined to stay strong and not let this situation get me down - so bring on the gastroscopy at the hospital, and let's get this sorted asap!
In fact, I think this current situation has enabled me to focus on the 'now' and living in the moment, and to make the most of whatever opportunities come my way in my persuit to find my spiritual home.
Despite trying to put on a brave face and remain positive, I've had to postpone my Irish trip due this weekend regrettably.
I feel very disappointed to miss out on catching up with my great friends in Ireland, but I shall return again soon, once I feel healthy enough to make the journey. I'll be open to much ridicule when I do eventually visit, as I'll be sticking to the orange juice and leaving the guinness alone. Having said that, there's plenty of lovely coffee shops around especially in Carlow, and I'll look forward to the special hazlenut brand of coffee in Glenn & Ruth's kitchen, so I'll be fine and it'll be grand.

Instead, I'll be hoping to enjoy a very peaceful long weekend, recharging my batteries and rebuilding my strength, as although mentally strong, physically I still feel pretty weak - despite maintaining my daily regime of walking a minimum of five miles and completing 75 push-ups!

I'll leave you with the wise old words from the Cornish comic, Jethro:
"Live each day as if it's your last...because one day you will be right!"

Nomadic Steve

Friday, January 7, 2011

Hope Springs Eternal

"have you ever felt so lost, but didn't know until you were found..." ~ Alicia Keys

A slightly belated Happy New Year to you all!


My opening weekly blog of 2011 starts with a look to the future.
Whilst attempting to live in the 'now', I can't help but cast an eye to the horizon with an air of optimisim as a new year brings new hope and new dreams.
Hopefully, an Irish trip will still happen, another New Zealand adventure will soon come into focus, and as for my personal circumstances...well, I remain a hopeless romantic!

I always thought that the word 'barretts' would be associated with a new home, which would link in nicely with my blog, but little did I know that I'd discover an entirely different meaning of that word. As you may recall at the end of last year, my priority was to sort out my health. I like to think some progress has been made, but tests so far administered haven't proved 100% conslusive, and it seems very likely that I have a condition know as Barrett's Oesophagus.
This requires constant medication and watching what I eat and drink, but taking meds for life at the expense of alcohol is a small price to pay if it enables me to continue my journey to find my spiritual home. The meds act as a proton inhibitor, which reduces the amount of acid that the stomach creates. It means that I have to take it easy for a while, and not work or play too hard, and depending how I get along with the third course of medication, it may also mean that I will have to sacrifice my impending trip to Ireland. This will be very sad if this is the case, but I know my friends will understand and they know that it's only a postponement, and not a cancellation.


Barrett's oesophagus can be a pre-cancerous condition of the lining of the oesophagus, the muscular tube that carries foods, liquids and saliva from the mouth to the stomach.
Barrett's oesophagus is caused by the long-term exposure of the oesophagus to acid reflux, a medical condition also known as GORD ( gastro oesophageal reflux disease).
When stomach acids back up into the oesophagus, the lining of the oesophagus can become injured. In some cases, the oesophageal lining may develop into a different kind of tissue which resembles the lining of the intestine. This change is Barrett's oesophagus.



I am now awaiting a final appointment at the hospital for a Gastroscopy, where they can effectively put a camera down my throat all the way down to my stomach to determine categorically what the diagnosis is...what fun!
Now, all of these details may seem inappropriate to the normal context of my blog, but there is an appropriate reason for mentioning them.
Purely by chance and coincidence all of these health issues have actually brought a change to my personal life, in that a very special person has returned into my life. 
Although my optimism may be a little misplaced, I don't want to get carried away just yet, but this lady understands what I'm going through as she's fully aware of the medical condition, and I've been tapping her up constantly to get all of her knowledge on the issue.
As a result I have recently spent some quality time in her presence and in the company of her two gorgeous daughters, and it's priceless to have the ability to make someone special in your life smile. Making two lovely little girls laugh as you struggle to compete with them on Wii, is worth it's weight in gold...I may be poor in life and currently in health, but I'm rich in love.
Over the course of the coming months I hope that these matters of the heart continue to progress, and I shall no longer possess a restless soul in my persuit of my spiritual home... Watch this space!

Nomadic Steve.