...And Where To Now?

"yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift...that's why it's called the present".

I hope you all enjoyed a lovely and peaceful Christmas...roll on the New Year!

All of my previous blogs have related to my past and my journey to find a 'home'.
My travels have taken me all over the south of the UK, whilst flirting with the West Midlands and north of the border, and I even ventured over to the other side of the world.
Yet here I am, currently back in Chichester, West Sussex and my future is still uncertain.
For the first time since I started writing this blog, I am in the present and in the 'Now'.
My quest continues and is ongoing, and all I do know for sure at the moment is that I will shortly be travelling to Ireland to catch up with my 'family' for the first time since Easter 2009, and that I shall be visiting New Zealand for a third time in August/September 2011 for my friend Ange's wedding.

I remain a hopeless romantic, with an optimistic disposition, although I'm also aware that maybe this is just wishful thinking, but my spiritual journey to find a home has taught me one thing over all of these years, and that is...

Home is where the heart is ~ so if my heart can find a home, then I don't care where I'm living.
It could be New Zealand, Ireland, Sussex, Berkshire, London or Timbuktu for all I care.
If my heart is truely happy, then I shall no longer feel lost and in search of that missing ingredient in my life.
I feel a little like the main character in the movie 'The Last Samaurai' - a completely lost soul searching for some inner peace. Keeping with the film analogies, I can also relate to Denzel Washington in 'Man On Fire' - a lost cause in need of St.Jude.
Amazingly, there are quite a few fictional characters who actually offer me hope and inspiration.
Going right back to my original blog, I've already mentioned 'The Shawshank Redemption'.
Then there's Alexandre Dumas's masterpiece 'The Count of Monte Cristo' - another tale of wrongful imprisonment and revenge.
Seeing as my favourite TV programme of all time is 'Porridge' I guess there's a prison theme developing here. But I think that prison is a metaphor for life in general, where you can feel imprisoned through all of your problems and troubles, so you mustn't ever lose hope or spirit. You must try to remain strong and all of this simply comes down to a basic combination of faith and hope.
Incidently, the prison metaphors are simply that I assure you...my only personal experience of life 'inside' was playing a football match at Ford Open Prison!

Then there are other influences in my life.
Generally, there is a similar theme of people who have triumphed over adversity, such as:
Lance Armstrong (7-time Tour De France winning cyclist) who overcame his battle with cancer;
Billy Connolly (comic/TV & Film star) who experienced a traumatic and abusive childhood;
Paulo Coelho (Brazilian Author) who never gave up hope of being a world-famous writer, despite being declared insane at one point, and suffering numerous setbacks and even imprisonment.

Then of course there are the real people in my life who have never wavered, and have always offered their continual help and support:

Jimi & Denn for literally saving my life;
Elona for encouraging me to write again and for her amazing friendship;
Jo Rolfe for always keeping in touch wherever she is;
Curph & Leah for getting me back out in social circles;
The Kirk & The Shaws for sticking with me through thick and thin;
Julie Clark for her inspirational faith and words of comfort when I really needed them;
Glenn, Ruth, and Maryrose in Ireland for always offering me a home across the water;
Ange in New Zealand for continually enticing me to stretch myself by travelling to the other side of the world;
Lucy for giving me the hours to help me realise my dream;
Giverny for being a good friend and the subject of my 'goodness guruness';
Josie for currently putting a roof over my head;
Nicky, my supervisor at work, for making me laugh when I least expect it;
All my other work colleagues: Sarah, Beth, Nick, Sammy, Paul & Tom for their light-hearted banter;
My family for all of their unconditional love and support;
and finally to Lou, for keeping in touch despite all of our mutual trials and tribulations.
To all of these people I send you my love and my thanks. You are all very special to me.

Sometimes it seems like I can't do right for doing wrong, and I know that maybe I care too much.
But I guess I'm too old to change my ways now, so what you see is what you get.
My immediate future is to restore my health after the recent chest condition/mystery illness that I've contracted, and to try to rebuild any relationships with the people who matter most in my life which have recently broken down or fallen apart.

I hope to pick-up my blog at some stage in the New Year, but until that time I'm going to sign off in my usual manner but hope that maybe next time my title may have changed, and I'll no longer be a nomad?!

Wishing everybody a great New Year to come.
May the best of your 2010 be the worst of your 2011.

Nomadic Steve