Enlightenment

"You've gone a million miles, how far'd you get
 to that place where you can't remember, and you can't forget..."

~ Secret Garden - Bruce Springsteen

I've started reading a book by Mark Twain entitled 'Following The Equator' and it got me thinking...

The premise of the book is all about a journey undertaken starting in Paris, crossing the Atlantic to Vancouver via America, then onto Hawaii and Fiji, before spending some time in Australia and New Zealand, and then finally South Africa. The purpose of this journey was to perform a worldwide lecture tour to help him recover from bankruptcy following the failure of his publishing company.

So, the similarities already hit home with my financial situation!

Mark Twain also wrote home to his family and stated:
"I am wild with impatience to move - move - Move!"

Maybe I have got my spiritual journey to find a home all wrong?
What if the journey itself was my home?
The whole purpose of my journey suddenly dawned on me.

Maybe I'm not destined to actually find a home?
Maybe I'm meant to travel continuously?
Maybe I'm looking for something that just isn't there?

This also supports my relationship failures. If I'm always moving around in search of something that isn't there, I'm never going to settle down with anyone anyway.
I then recall an enlightened conversation with my good friend Jimi Nutbrown five months ago.
I remember it well as it was the day after my birthday, and rather suprisingly Jimi paid me a visit and even more suprisingly as he doesn't usually drink, we went out and had a few beers.
Over a pint or two, Jimi suddenly came out with an observation about me which I had never previously considered, and initially disputed.
But in hindsight, I think he was right.

Jimi felt that I wasn't destined in be in a relationship, and that he had seen me both in and out of a romantic situation, but in his eyes I was happiest on my own.
Like I say, initially I was quite suprised by this revelation, but now that I think about it...

I know in my heart of hearts that I have a lot of love to give to someone special.
I also know that I am kind, generous and caring.
But I also know that I was never happiest than when I was living in a campervan, driving the open roads across New Zealand, and travelling completely alone.
So, maybe I was meant to travel and the whole nature of my journey is not to end up somewhere, but to enjoy the path as it unwinds?

I wrote a previous blog entitled 'Following My Heart To Bath' and opened with the quote 'happiness is the road' which hinted then about actually enjoying the journey itself, but maybe I hadn't taken my thoughts to heart as much as I thought I had.

My thoughts are very much along the line now of enjoying the journey and living in the 'moment'.
After all, 'happiness isn't at the end of the road, happiness IS the road'.

Nomadic Steve